I know I said I was sick and everything, but fuck it! I'm going to Vegas! I figure if what happens there stays there, then I could kick it for a bit, barf or something expensive, and piece out. Then, once I cross the city lines - BOOM! Cured! It's as easy as that.
Now, the whole barfing on something expensive thing might not go over so well, and may even lead to my legs getting broken or something crazy like that, so I'd have to be sneaky. Here's a possible plan:
I drive out to Vegas. Granted, my ill condition leads to me trying to drive in and around seven different roads at once (fucking road designs!) and I have to dodge that dragon, but I get there in like 20 minutes. On the way over, I call a mule rental house (they have those, right?) and meet them at Bellagio or somewhere swanky. I get speed and inject it into the "horses" butt. I just use a little speed - I'm not a monster, I ain't trying to kill it or anything, just show it a good time - and then I give it some money for the craps tables. While security and everyone is trying to stop my party mule, I find the most expensive thing in the casino and go barf on it!
Done! I'll be home in time for supper. Which is mush - sweet sweet mush!