Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Who wants to strangle BART?

I have an iPhone app (sadly yes, I'm going to use that stupid fucking word, zomg lol). My sweet new app has maps of famous subway systems from around the world. Guess what ain't on there? (hint, this is a fucking open book quiz, dammit!) Ohh wow, you guessed it! You know why? CAUSE BART FUCKING SUCKS!!!

Now, I don't mean to hurt anyone's fragile wimpy feelings, but this is true. And I've been on a few other subway systems to back up my statement. True, BART is good for several reasons. It's carpeted, so it soaks up your pee! It looks like Star Tours, so you might see C-3PO! If you get shot, Oakland has a smashy party! And if you think I'm a fucking asshole, you only have to walk 4 minutes from the MacArthur station to punch me in my face!

But there are downsides to BART. You want to go to the Richmond in SF? Sorry. You wanna go to the Haight? Oops. You wanna go the the beach? Nope! The Marina? Eh, not really. SF State? UCSF? Nah. Huntet's Point? Praise Jesus, no! Daly City? Sure can! ...wait, what? Why?!

The tickets are a little crazy too. The only place I've been with a stranger ticketing system is Rotterdam, which is cah-ray-zee, but a great subway. However, in The bay area, you pay by distance. If you get out at the same station, it's actually more than if you get off at the next. Why do you need to just chill at the station? C'mon! Maybe you need to (ahchem) make a music video... or just sing in an echoy place while you shit and piss at the same time, then sleep in it! Most places either charge a flat rate for any number of stops, or they give you a time window (ever heard of the honor system?). So by this standard, with people taking long distance trips every day... wouldn't you think BART would be loaded? Huh...?

That said, BART offers many things I generally love about metro systems: the wind as the train enters the station, crazy music and performance art, and--

Fuck! My glasses just broke! I guess that's what I get for talking shit...

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