Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Don't Be Illiteral

I shot a movie this weekend. I shot all over my house, and all I did was scream. I screamed directions. I screamed my lines. I screamed for coffee. I screamed in thanks for coffee. I screamed as I pooped from coffee. I screamed about how I screamed at pooped. I screamed why people weren't excited for me.

It makes me wonder why more people don't scream. Everything would be better. Everything would have added importance to it, and eventually no one would want to talk anymore. Movies would be way more awesome because everything would be intense. Radio would be more awesome because everything would be more intense. And speaking - or screaming - of shooting, I think everyone should have a gun on them at all times. I don't want people to shoot each other. No, that's not nice. But I do think that everything would be more awesome if you could scream and fire guns in the air while describing it. Instead of throwing caps at graduation, fire your semi-automatic in the air. Instead of throwing birdseed at as the bride and groom leave the church, fire your automatic in the air. Instead of Tweeting, shoot Tweeters.

I want to be able to stand outside my house and fire my super-automatic gun machine gun into the air as I scream hello to my neighbor, and don't stop screaming. I hope that he will be able to fire and scream back. We'll scream about how a lovely day it is, and fire in excitement over our blue skies, new shoes, big shit. Fixing shit is easy. Shoot at it! Toilet clogged up? Shoot at it! Scream at it! Phone doesn't work? Shoot at it! Scream at it! Can't scream anymore? Shoot about it! Can't afford anymore bullets? Scream about it!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. I scream in the car. I scream in my shoes. I scream for breakfast lunch and dinner, and forth meal, and noonsies. A big bowl of I scream. A big bowl of shoot. A big bowl of fuck. A big bowl of screaming shoot fuck.

Oh, and don't get ticks people... I'm just saying.


  1. I'm sorry, the correct answer is less whispering.
    I think you need to make a period movie with this idea. It can be set in early america. They can use muskets.