As we desperately approach the fateful year of slowly runny bowels and quickly singeing armpit hair brought to us lovingly by those wacky mayans, one can't help but think, "boy! Gee oh boy-o! They just thought uh ever'thing, now, di'n't they!" But, really! It's 2009, right? Why wait? Why not just go watch the movie about it all this year (starring John Cusack! Ooh! Hearts on fire!!) right? Why? Cause fucking get over it, that's why. If it makes you feel better you can go to CostCo after the credits and stock up on water... hella water. Water's gonna be the new currency... cause money's gonna go up to heaven... cause heaven needs a bail out. At this rate 2012's gonna need a bail out too, along with smartypantsery. RIGHT?!
Oh, and can Wells Fargo please bring back the tradition of shipping everyone a naked cherub in a wooden crate for the new year? Top hats welcome!